WHY

It’s back again. It has been brewing for so long. Back in October/November​ last year, it was the lowest I’ve ever been. I’m ashamed to say I seriously considered ending everything. A culmination of several factors plus one problem, made things absolutely unbearable for me. There was no one I felt I could turn to.

The one big problem that caused me to feel so bad has returned once again. My posts are one big fucking circle. I don’t understand what an earth I’m doing. Why am I like this. Why do I fall for the same fucking traps. Why does my mind think this way. I fucking hate it. I can’t escape.

Have you ever felt so low that no matter how hard you try, you keep falling back into that hole?

When one person is able to mess with your head so much and make you believe something and a possibility, it’s not good. I am so naive. I’ve said countless times that I wouldn’t fall for the same old mistakes. But yet I’m completely​ lost. 

How do I avoid someone who causes me so much misery without her knowing?

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