The continuous struggle with anxiety for over four years has created a whole list of problems, and has forced a number of barriers in my life. But what’s worse is the majority of people I spend time with fail to understand what it’s truly like. After finally finding the time to tell them what it’s been like, they were confused and unable to help.
But today, I went out for the day with this girl who’s been pretty close to me for a while now, and she’s helped me out a whole load. But while at times she’s been really damn helpful, and someone to trust, I don’t think I could ever tell her the full extent to what anxiety has done to me and what it continues to do to me.
Anxiety has affected my weight, my mindset and the people I spend my time with. I struggle to be around those who claim to be superior than everyone, or as someone would call an egotistic person. Whilst majority of my friends are decent people, only a handful of them are actually good people. Harsh? Perhaps, but you would’ve thought that with everything that happened with our friend who passed away in the most unthinkable way, I thought they would’ve been able to talk mental health. They are simply naive people.
However that’s not to discard everyone. There’s a few who I can reach out to and will understand. When I say a few, there are 2 people. Essentially 2 life savers. But what’s frustrating is that I can’t even speak up about this because when I have done, majority don’t even bother. These two people are pretty incredible people to be honest, but they are the not the people that I spend everyday with.
What I’ve learned from four years of anxiety, is that there are long and short periods of time where anxiety doesn’t bother me at all. But there are certain times where it’s almost crippling, and it’s the hope that I thought I was getting past it that kills me, because it returns in devasting form. Also anxiety is the leading cause of my sadness when it comes around, often leading to thoughts of the unimaginable when in times of crippling moments. But this is the experience that I’ve been through and I’ve tried to figure out coping methods for myself during these moments. WordPress and the community on here will always be helpful.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight. All the best.
Twitter – @ExplorerTrapped