Wow it has been far too long. I would like to apologise for not posting on here to those who actually find my posts interesting. Things have been pretty crazy these past couple of weeks. I won’t be posting on here tomorrow! But I’ll be back the day after for good. Daily.
(EMAILS – If you’ve tried emailing me, I am so sorry for not getting back to you. I like to take my time replying to everyone, and I simply didn’t feel like I could do that. But I will reply to them this week!)
Well its been so strange. I mean I have been feeling relatively good to be honest. I think the whole Christmas build up has been utterly sensational for my mind. Surrounded my positive people at sixth form has helped a lot. It was the last Christmas that I’ll ever spend at school, and it was definitely the best. I know my friends may not see this ever, but you know who you are and I would like to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you. Although I never told you how shit everything was in my head, you’ve all helped a lot, especially during the last few weeks.
My best friend who is fighting off leukaemia for the second time, brought his first car home today. He’s the strongest person I have ever met, and seeing him on the recovery with his brand new car made my day. Seeing someone who has fought such a horrible battle twice, smiling and being able to get something like this, makes me feel selfish for wanting to leave everything especially after all he’s been through.
I guess seeing little positive things like this push me through dark moments. I have also been coping a lot better with seeing the one everyday, and not getting too down and upset, and also not letting her ruin my day. Guess just over time things do get easier. But having no one who understands specifically what kills me inside isn’t a good feeling. It’s really lonely sometimes.