Eugh. I feel so sick. The mind is such a messed up place at times. When you think everything is starting to pick up again, all it takes is for one thought these days to knock everything over. Have you ever felt so sick mentally, that it ends up bothering you physically?
Everyday reminders is something that eats me up the most. It’s the absolute worst feeling when something that bothers you so much is there everyday. For me this is every sixth form day where I am reminded. It’s really not good.
The thing is I don’t know what to do with myself. I mean I try take myself out of that situation by putting headphones in or doing work. This works to an extent, but this reminder which is a problem, remains at the forefront of my mind. I just don’t have the mental tools to eradicate this problem or become stone-cold in instances like this.
I am left so incredibly frustrated. Like how do I just get rid of everything I am feeling and direct all of this extra-energy and effort towards becoming the better person of myself. Yet I can’t. I am in dire need of a reality check. Something to wake me up and drive me forward. I can feel myself slipping to some place where I want to be weightless. One day I guess.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight. All the best.
Twitter – @ExplorerTrapped