Everyone is affected by them. They are sometimes the worst when you need to concentrate. But they are so valuable when everything hits the fan. What distracts you the most?
I had a lesson with the ‘one’ today, and I was trying desperately hard to avoid eye contact and even basic talk with her. I felt so good. Surprisingly this person kept her mouth shut regarding anything that annoys me. I was so grateful.
Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t hate this person in any way. She helped me a load during the toughest moments of my life. But she has pushed me aside and barely puts any effort into talking to me. Being the naive person I am, I kept trying to revive everything between us, but it was only a one-sided attempt. What makes this even more frustrating is that I’ve been close to this person for 7 years. Yet I’m left quite bewildered as to why now is the time I am left in the dark? Ah well ay.
But here I was in a two-hour lesson with this person, and I was hoping in my mind that she cannot ruin this day for me. We spent an hour on a test, and she prodded my arm a few times in a joking manner, as well as whispering my name to get my attention. My former naive self taught me well. I just blanked her and powered through my essay. I felt so much better.
But today was pretty chill. I mean I don’t want to say things are getting better just yet. I still have way too many negative thoughts, and it honestly kills me up in my mind. Guess easing my mind with a few distractions like writing on here or doing something else is pretty damn helpful when everything is going to shit. Long journey ahead I guess.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight. All the best.
Twitter – @ExplorerTrapped