Tired

Ever had one of them days? Where everything just gets progressively worse? Yep had a few of them already. What’s worse is when you’re starting to feel like everything is piecing together. But instead everything comes crashing down again. A feeling so inexplicably difficult to explain…

I’m beginning to tire of acting and hiding behind something I am not. Pretending to make out that everything is okay when inside the walls are falling down. Where you feel mentally neglected. Beyond repair. No end in sight. No tunnel of hope. Just a road of emptiness.

I love just putting in my headphones and watch the world go by in symphony. For that short three minutes, everything I feel is gone. I feel free.

Speaking to someone about how I am feeling is not something I want to do. Writing is my way out. My medication. My meditation.

The dark thoughts of finding a way out is something I don’t ever want to think about, but I fear that they are slowly becoming my Achilles heel. I can’t help but feel such contrasting thoughts in the riddle of my mind. Everyone has their place in my situation. I am yet to find tranquillity. It’s haunting me. I’m still hoping for my break. One day I’ll be at peace, with the conflict of thoughts no longer a burden. But until then, the daily slog must continue.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight. All the best.

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